A modern definition of equanimity: cool. This refers to one whose mind remains stable & calm in all situations-
Raise your hand if you have ever talked to yourself, or better yet, talked to yourself in the third person during a difficult or trying time in your life. Don’t be shy now – I have two hands waving in the air if that matters?!?
Breathing, positive self talk, calmness, evenness of mind – Chill. The gentle sway of a budding birch tree, daffodils and crocuses awaking underfoot, sharing a smile with a complete stranger as you spin or run on by … All the while talking to yourself, coaching yourself, through a difficult set of experiences.
When talking to myself in the third person I normally recite something like this: “Dude, keep cool, this equanimity stuff? Is pretty damn important! Chill … Breathe … Relax the back of your throat … Eyes forward, Heart Open! Take another deep breath … Breathe … Equanimity is key … Zip it up – You got this!.”
Here I am, some random dude on the inter-webz, openly telling you that I talk to myself – all of the damn time! And who cares if you do the very same! When we are unable to walk – spin – run calmly away from a “situation“? Remember: This equanimity stuff? Is pretty damn important!
There are two circumstances that lead to arrogance: one is when you’re wrong and you can’t face it; the other is when you’re right and nobody else can face it-
The joy of being afflicted by “social correctness“, which is really just a gentle way of saying passive aggressive. We have become so self-conscious, that we no longer speak our minds. Rather, we dance, spin and obfuscate (use my blog as an example) what are often very obvious truths about ourselves, and the world around us.
To be true to ourselves, we must speak our truth and own it. We do this by looking at ourselves in the mirror, asking ourselves the hard questions that confront us and heeding to our hearts. In this way, our hearts will not stray far, fall off our center or lose their way because we will be connected to this thing called … Reality.
During this Holiday season I am so very grateful, blessed to have met some pretty cool and authentic folk on the blog-o-sphere since I started writing.
Listed below, in no particular order, are just a few bloggers on a path to a more authentic experience, open expression — of both themselves and their lives. *Often at times, the best part of my boring posts? Are the folks who stop over to hang out – chill for a while.*
Say anything about you. Whatsoever people say is about themselves. But you become very shaky, because you are still clinging to a false center. That false center depends on others, so you are always looking to what people are saying about you. And you are always following other people, you are always trying to satisfy them. You are always trying to be respectable, you are always trying to decorate your ego. This is suicidal. Rather than being disturbed by what others say, you should start looking inside yourself …
Whenever you are self-conscious you are simply showing that you are not conscious of the self at all. You don’t know who you are. If you had known, then there would have been no problem— then you are not seeking opinions. Then you are not worried what others say about you— it is irrelevant!
When you are self-conscious you are in trouble. When you are self-conscious you are really showing symptoms that you don’t know who you are. Your very self-consciousness indicates that you have not come home yet.
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept-
These truths are a compass leading us along the path of our lives: When we open our eyes, listen to our hearts and scream our truth(s) out loud for all to hear and witness? We find Balance and Center.
Once we find our true path and own it, the key words being Own It – Own your Path. Only then can we set about creating a definitive experience of our sense of place, our sense of identity and our sense of purpose in this beautiful world.
Through seeking purpose, we find identity. With identity, we find our true purpose.
The alternate approach to Owning Your Path … Is waiting. Waiting will only engender suffering, the suffering of longing to be “better” and grasping at a You, that simply does not exist.
Sometimes one has suffered enough to have the right to never say: I am too happy-
The idea of “surrender” is not one we cling to when it comes to engaging in activitie(s) of our choosing. Rather, the words we use are more akin to fighting a valiant battle, winning at all costs. And you know what? There is nothing wrong with thinking this way … Unless thinking this way makes you feel worse that you already do.
May this post serve as an invitation to gently set aside the fear and fight in our lives. In order to truly live.
My idea of surrender, is that surrender gives my mind a chance to let the world seep into my very consciousness. Learning “how to surrender” is not about becoming passive, a “chump” or indifferent. Surrender revolves around accepting our current state of mind, body and spirit. With this acceptance serving as my starting point? I am learning to take the best care I can of my body and my mind.
Consider a moment in your life when “surrendering” led to positive consequences that you were not expecting …
Be well today!
If someone comes along and shoots an arrow into your heart, it’s fruitless to stand there and yell at the person. It would be much better to turn your attention to the fact that there’s an arrow in your heart-
If through practicing mindfulness, we practice letting go of thoughts – hopefully? We need another practice for letting thoughts in, getting comfortable with threats from soccer moms, the risks associated with yoga class, discouraging and difficult thoughts during a recent early morning run. We need to exercise our ability to comprehend the tedious, harsh and more discouraging thoughts we encounter during the day more so than blasting reps and sets in a gym. Without ever practicing letting thoughts in? We tend to interpret the world through the lens of easy, wishful thinking …
We need to be brave enough to take our shoes off, expose our knackered and worn toenails to step confidently into dark, discouraging and confusing waters in our quests for uncertain gratification.
It’s not enough to be able to dismiss all the “thoughts” we process and return to the here and now as “mindfulness” practice encourages. Seriously folks – Please read the last sentence again. This is where many people get mindfulness wrong, horribly wrong: Mindfulness practice is most attractive and helpful to people who succumb to the weight of negative thoughts and feelings.
Consider that most often mindfulness is meant to discourage, discouragement.
You may be able to tell I am clearly frustrated with the current view, adopted by so many in regards to mindfulness. The power of neutral-thinking, an ability to, in effect pre-grieve the possibilities of not having the latest yoga fashion(s) so that we aren’t scared of living without them, limbering our minds much the way we learn to breathe into and surrender to the searing burn of a stretched hamstring during chair pose.
By letting thoughts in, we have already visited failure, humiliation and injury. We are prepared to contemplate deeply even when it’s not cool or trendy. Here’s the harsh truth that many yogis, blog posts and tired yoga magazine articles fail to provide us: Mindfulness practice is not believing you can ward off undesirable outcomes by not thinking about them.