A Dude’s Musings On Mother’s Day

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy-

I wanted Mother’s Day to be different this year. I wanted to continue my climb upward on the Mother’s Day Classiness Gift Giving Scale. Last year was pretty pathetic, a cheap card from Target and a box of Govida Truffle’s. This year? I wandered into our local Lululemon bodega (our Lulu store is right next to a wine shop = Awesome!). What could possibly go wrong?

For us dudes, a few steps into a Lululemon store is a highly visual, sensual and erotic experience! We are greeted by provocatively attired mannequins, I mean staff … and, further back in the store, just beyond the camel toe concealing yoga pants, women are exiting fitting rooms attired in raiment that often do not seem to fit—literally, and with no pun intended, figuratively.

This sight started my mind wandering on this sultry weekend afternoon, with my lovely wife’s purse in one hand and a strawberry banana smoothie in the other: How damaging can a woman’s relationship with her body be? Damaging enough to result in pain of both a psychological and physical nature?

Throughout their lives, women of all ages must deal with idealized, societal norms and how they “measure up” in life. There are different stereotypes spanning the entire spectrum of a woman’s shape: A girl or woman with large breasts, thick hips may have to contend with unsavory assumptions about her sexuality. From a different angle, this same girl or woman may feel inadequate should she have smaller breasts and no hips. Both are patently absurd.

It is therefore not surprising to see women this afternoon squeezing into garments that don’t quite seem to fit, as they struggle daily with how they confront societal myths, that don’t quite fit.

So, I thought: “Maybe I won’t buy anything in this store? Maybe a bottle of dark chocolate wine from next door would be the better option?

Happy Mother’s Day!

*Back by popular demand – The most viewed pic in the history of CultFit*

CultFit Mothers Day

CultFit


(I’m) Reckless

In this world of numbness and information overload, the ability to feel, my boy, is a rare gift indeed-

You scowl at your running partner(s) for running with headphones in. You can faintly hear ‘1901’ blasting from their ears. They are insistently checking their GPS watch, every ten steps, although 10 miles later during a quick stop to refuel? Out comes a magenta hued insta-message to let the world know you just slammed a gel pack. Don’t they realize how much it annoys you? The anger on your face is plain as day …

Remember when placing an emergency call meant stepping into a phone booth? Today’s electronic do-dad’s and wireless communications gadgets have made it possible for us to handle emergencies in near real-time, help us to find and reconnect with long-lost friends and the best part: Fantasy Sports. Although all of this “convenience” we have at our finger tips comes at a steep price. The incursion of technology into our lives both at home and while out for an evening run, means less down time and we become ungrounded from our true spirit (tomorrows post).  FaceTube and iThings rip into and tear apart relationships and thwart leisure pursuits. I often lament about leisure/life balance, oddly the term “Balance” seems to be a thing of the past.

What in the world is the meaning of balance anymore?

Steeping back from the running story, we as families are feeling this pain at home as well. Social experiment for the day: Engage a teenager in an eye to eye conversation. Let me know how that works out for you. Today’s teens have booth feet, wading chest deep in a technology sinkhole, sad.

Notes:

Know what? It’s rather easy to blame social media and technology, I should know, I am rather adept at it. Over the past fortnight I have been thinking about this issue ad nauseam, what “balance” truly means, the mixed blessing and danger of technology and many other things (NHL Playoffs).  Even though social media and technology have placed the world at our feet, the 24/7 access impedes our spiritual health and quality of life.

Ask yourself today: Has the convenience been worth it?

CultFit Grounded


I’m Above

Happiness is only real when shared

Today’s blog post is all about you and your Top Secret. Your personal Top Secret may never have been told to another person before. It may be too personal or deeply haunting, digging up old thoughts and feelings. Feel free to share your Top Secret in the comments below.

Notes:

You may be surprised that your closely guarded secret is shared with many other people around the world!

I’ll start: Yoga and meditation are brilliant and if more dudes would surrender to their, inner bad ass self? Well, this would not be much of a secret then would it?

CultFit Hot Air


Know your Enemy

Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us-

Today, I ask you to consider a rather different, more personal formula for recreating a healthy and happy life: Embracing the Arts (painting, drawing, prose, poetry, writing etc.).

Embracing the Arts does not entail you picking out a new foam roller to soothe your aching body after a recent run, cancelling another doctors appointment to have your knee locked at, bending and twisting in yoga class beyond your limits in order to express your inner beauty. Embracing the Arts does require you to reclaim your innate curiosity about your own body and its limitations.

Embrace the Arts to reduce the violence we are hopelessly addicted to. Yes, I believe writing or even taking the time to commit to memory a poem you enjoy, is infinitely better than a “recovery run, shake, workout – whatever“. A slight change in perspective, attitude and focus will make a drastic change in your life …

Notes:

We as a culture need to focus on and discover true beauty in nature, to help us heal, smile and generally: Be somewhat tolerable to hang out with.

Be well today and please take care.

CultFit Set


The Magnificent Dance

If they substituted the word ‘Lust’ for ‘Love’ in the popular songs it would come nearer the truth-

:::BEEP BEEP BOOP:::

You are now connected to the CultFit Extreme Fitness conference call. Please state your name and title for those of us in attendance.

“Chaz, reporting from Omaha”

“Molly here! The best bodega/spa manager this side of the Hudson”

“Caleb, Cage Free/Paleo animal relations director from Red Hook”

“:::heavy frantic breathing::: Zoey …”

“OK, well thanks for calling in everyone. I wanted to start by saying all of you are doing such …”

“:::heavy breathing::: ahhhh – yeahhhh”

“Zoey … is that you? Are you OK?”

“Yeah, Chaz. :::heavy breathing::: I’m calling during my lunch hour. Just getting in my scheduled afternoon bikram yoga session in. AHHHHHH.”

“Zoey, you really didn’t need to call us from the yoga studio!?!”

“Oh I’m not at the yoga studio. :::heavy breathing::: I’m actually just … ahhhhhh the burn! Feel it! Damn! … I’m just sitting in my office with a space heater on full blast! Between the sweet pouring off my body and the humidifier …”

“Hey, I don’t mean to be difficult, but I gotta go do things and see people in an hour, so can we just get on with this meeting already?”

“Yes, sorry Molly. Anyway, like I was saying. I just want to go over the Q4 projections of our Elite – Sustainable – Renewable Energy – Health Spa to make sure we’re all on the same …”

“Ahhh, yeah that’s it. Yeah right there, deeper, feel the stretch :::heavy breathing::: AHHHHHHHH!”

“Zoey … are you sure you’re OK?”

“Yeah, I just took off my clothes and upped the intensity a touch. I’m almost done lovelies. Keep going.”

“Caleb, did you want to go over your thoughts for the planned sustainable – rooftop – farmers market … ”

“:::heavy breathing::: 5 … 4 … 3 … 2 … FIRE BREATHING!!! Bring it on home, Zoey! You got this you bad ass …! AHHHHHHHH!”

“This is really distracting. Maybe we can just brief Zoey later over a babyccino?!?”

“It’s OK Molly. I’m done now.”

“Finally.”

“Just need to switch the space heater off and … there. I’m listening. Go on folks.”

“I really think it might be better if we just reschedule for …”

“:::heavy breathing::: heeee heeee hoooo hoooo heeeeeeeeeee huuurts soooo gooooood.”

“This is ridiculous. I’m signing off now.”

:::BEEP BEEP BOOP:::

“Yeah, me too.”

:::BEEP BEEP BOOP:::

“Just one … more … second. Annnnd done. Ahhhh. Alright, good work everybody. Hello? Anyone still here, hello?!?”

Notes:

CultFit Bitch