April 5, 1974

The air was soft, the ground still cold.
In the dull pasture where I strolled
Was something I could not believe.
Dead grass appeared to slide and heave,
Though still too frozen-flat to stir,
And rocks to twitch and all to blur.
What was this rippling of the land?
Was matter getting out of hand
And making free with natural law,
I stopped and blinked, and then I saw
A fact as eerie as a dream.
There was a subtle flood of steam
Moving upon the face of things.
It came from standing pools and springs
And what of snow was still around;
It came of winter’s giving ground
So that the freeze was coming out,
As when a set mind, blessed by doubt,
Relaxes into mother-wit.
Flowers, I said, will come of it.

Richard Wilbur

CultFit Spring

How Deep is the : Ocean :

Solitude is fine but you need someone to tell that solitude is fine.-

When I became chronically “injured” over five years ago, I was forced to trade the exciting life of an aspiring athlete for the isolation of my own mind The loneliness was dense, palpable at times, it was hard to distinguish between the injury I was struggling through at the time and the loneliness that gripped me all of the time.

Back in the wonder years, I found being alone anything but glorious, and far from being soothing. It wasn’t even remotely sweet and delicious. Although, a close friends advice that yoga was what I needed  planted a delicate seed in my mind, and so I began to explore the meaning of “being alone.” I realized early on that being alone on my mat, in and of itself, is neither positive nor negative. This profound feedback described a good portion of my life trying to be someone who I was not – The painful loneliness of striving to be better than the person next me on the starting line or the glorious solitude of going home broken and empty-handed.

The spiritual manifestation of yoga (not to be confused with the physical) and a deeply rooted mindfulness “practice” showed me that if I could let go of the desire to win at all costs, I might be able to open my heart and soul to the possibility that life could be sweet, maybe even delicious?!? I gradually warmed to the quiet calm of my mind, mindfully following my breath entering and leaving my body. My powers of observation, began to bloom – noting the subtle details swirling around me, details that in the past – Escaped me, like the play of sunlight reflecting from the metallic rims on the road as I cycle along or leaves dancing carelessly in the air on a windy fall morning.

Daily Meditation:

Once I opened my heart and soul to being alone, my loneliness did become sweet and delicious. And some days, when all is calm, it’s even beautiful. Cultivating self-compassion more so than anything else, softens my loneliness and pain, which in turn makes me smile.

 Rachelle, Jeff, Cheryl – Sandra, Jim, Katelon, Alyssa, Susie – Michelle, Sara and Maia. To all of you who have “followed” my ramblings from the beginning – My sincerest gratitude for your kindness and support. There truly is no way I can accurately put into words how much you have helped me – Thank you.

CultFit Lonliness

The : Resist : Stance

The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter-

Yup, Gotcha! Seriously I already know patience is totally valuable for dealing with the long lines this time of the year, soccer moms searching for the one true parking spot at the mall, or interacting with “disagreeable” folks ordering a coffee. Seriously! I’m keenly aware that true inner change takes time, and why am I becoming frustrated talking about impatience?!? Oh – Maybe it has something to do with not seeing the instant results we desire in life?

My lack of patience stems from a false sense of belief about myself. I think I should be able to handle everything in the world, myself. I think there is only one way to achieve my goals and when “things” don’t quite work out? I become increasing impatient.


I try so hard not to get discouraged when my progress is slow.


True change takes times.


I am gently walking my path to recovery from bad habits that have defined me for a better part of my life. I’ve come so far, there’s no way I can quit right now!

Daily Meditation:

If we foster and nurture patience, if we can wait for ourselves to arrive in this inspiring moment, anything can happen.

CultFit Patience

Best for : You :

The battle you are going through is not fueled by the words or actions of others; it is fueled by the mind that gives it importance-

I was speaking with a close friend this past weekend and he asked me – quite bluntly like most dudes do, what change(s) since I ended the “reign of terror” on my body had the greatest impact on my being able to “compete” again? <– whatever this means. He waited patiently for me to share my “bad-ass” – “hardcore” training plan with him as we sipped our coffee during a frigid mid ride stop The answer he eagerly awaited never arrived. As many of my longtime readers may know, the change(s) I made in my life were due in part to neglecting and abusing my body for many years. Moving on, after a long awkward pause I finally answered his question: I get up at 4 a.m. – Every single day. His response, in typical dude fashion was: “Why?!?” – Why wake at four in the morning?

I simply, love waking up early. I get to be myself before the little one wakes up for the day. It’s peaceful early in the morning, and the world awakening around me feels calm and serene. The subtle gift of time speaks to my soul. You have to meet yourself there, early one morning to experience it – Dude.

Daily Meditation:

We fail to realize the rejuvenate energy given to us in the morning as we rush straight through it – Rushing to the gym to count reps mindlessly, updating our social status to let the world know we attended a 5:30 am yoga class. Such is the ebb and flow of life

CultFit Morning



Dancing : In : the Moonlight

It is more Important to be of pure intention than of perfect action-

Its moments before the gentle warmth of the Sun breaks the horizon on a chilly Friday morning in eastern Nebraska. With a 90% chance of snow tomorrow and a daytime high of 20 expected this Sunday in Iowa City, IA. Perfect racing conditions for Jingle Cross if you ask me. Although, its only Friday Why are our minds racing towards the weekend?

Raising my chapped hand awkwardly in the air – I fully admit that daydreaming about the weekend is a supernatural delight, constantly peering off into the future to escape events that happened in the past. I’m feeling warm and bright right now thinking about racing in freshly fallen snow this coming Sunday. Pausing mid sip to reflect I spent the past few days lamenting about my lack of “training” last weekend and the last couple of days endlessly checking the weather for the upcoming weekend. Simply put (because I’m a simple dude): I actively sacrificed being this week to fleeting memories, events that have already happened, and fantasies of how “things” might unfold three days and three hours away in Iowa.

Daily Meditation:

The most memorable races, the most memorable “things” in life, are rarely those that have been planned in advance. They are usually formulated over a few adult beverages with close friends late one evening in August, where we meet the moment without any preconditions or expectations and simply surrender to being. Savoring each and every moment that comes our way.

Take care this morning and please be well!

*Big Thank You to the fine folks at Omaha Bicycle Co. and Endless Bike Company for keeping me prepared this late into the cycling season – Thank you!*

CultFit Peace

Little Bitty Pretty One

Don’t think about making life better for other people who don’t even deserve you, rather, focus on making your life the best, for yourself and those who love you-

Why do we find it so difficult to share our dark and dirty selves online? Do we openly express our happiness via social media to seek the approval of others? Perhaps the most damaging part is that by only recording and sharing the splendid moments in our lives, we lose track of who we really are? 100 happy days isn’t enough to outweigh the other 265-ish days in the year.

Right now, in this beautiful/inspiring moment, I can pen a list of “things” that really pissed me off and made me feel rather unhappy yesterday. The first 5 or so things would be dedicated to parenting. Having a nine-year old dude going on 20 is good for a few unhappy annoyances. Sprinkle in a entitled beagle for at least 10 more. Next up would be work and then a major portion would be dedicated to the many poor choices I make during the day: Peanut butter with or without honey – Who to start on my fantasy hockey team – Which yoga poses to practice – Reading an article about the upcoming movie “Interstellar” that gave away major plot points – Which race do I sign up for next – Fussing over the recent elections.

My #happy# moment yesterday was something so profound and kind that the thought of sharing it publicly, affectionately adorned with a hash-tag, seemed woefully self-serving (which is why I’m doing it now …). Why you may ask? Because it deeply touched my heart and soul. This amazing gift was something I could have Instagramed, or Twerped . The “thing” that brought me joy, and made my heart swell with gratitude yesterday, amid all the nine-year old drama, entitled beagle crap, work issues and peanut butter guilt Was opening my email, sorting through all the spam from local yoga studios, and noticing a gift card email sent from a close friend. It is precisely because of all of the unhappy moments—the ones I’ve listed above and the ones I carry close to my heart—that this moment was so precious, and why I’m still smiling this morning after stepping on another Lego piece at 0400!

Daily Meditation:

Opening up our hearts and writing about ourselves online, while blindly attempting to live up to the expectations of others, makes all of this social media stuff kinda less than truthful at times.

CultFit Happy

Polka Dots and Moonbeams

If I saw you hitchhiking, I’d smile and return your thumb’s up, just for you doing such a great job of being a positive roadside influence-

Each of us has the keen ability to notice when “things” in life are starting to get in the way, that is of course – If we pay close enough attention to them.

Personally, it was thinking I had to excel at everything. Life, work, play, pilates, yoga, cycling and making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich – everything. When I felt as though I had come up short, or when I felt as though the sandwich I had just made was underwhelming and missed my expectations, it’s incredibly frustrating and discouraging to say the least. Its taken quite some time, although, I’m peaceful knowing there are going to be areas in my life which I do not have the upper hand.

Daily Meditation:

There’s something intrinsically freeing knowing, and owning any potential pitfalls that come our way   And once we notice this? “Things” cease to be a surprise anymore, and more like relief.

CultFit Self


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