It’s discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit-
Have you ever stopped at a “stop walk” when there’s no traffic? Waiting patiently for the signal to indicate its safe to cross the street, when out of seemingly nowhere, another almond chai tea latte sporting pedestrian comes along and proceeds to saunter on through? Do you lament, “I’m a moron for waiting!” Or do you think out-loud, “Try not to get run over you jack ass!” These benign and tedious social interactions, offer us a glimpse into our inner “moral police,” and how we spend more time defending our own egos than actually enjoying this inspiring moment in time.
I don’t believe we are abandoning morals in our society as a whole. We still lean heavily on moral arguments to justify our daily behavior (topic for another day … ), although we tend to prop ourselves up on “morals” more randomly, pulling out whatever moral code serves our interests best in any given situation. So how do we begin to tie in morality, which is a painfully tedious and a woefully self-serving discussion. With mindfulness, harmony and surrendering to the moment? Or, simply being?
What ever happened to here-and-now relational responsiveness in our society? Actions that are open-hearted, sympathetic, and not embedded in rigid ideas of the self, and our “personal interest?” Helping the elderly to cross a street or carrying their groceries to the car? Holding a random door open for someone? Waiting at a cross walk, and sharing a smile with the driver, before you both carry on? Its amazing what we can achieve as a society when people go out of their way to help one another with no thought of self-advantage.
Instead of being propelled by an outside force – Morality – Ego – Self Advantage … Allow your heart and spirit to propel you gently this morning.
There are some questions that shouldn’t be asked until a person is mature enough to appreciate the answers-
We are made up of many “things,” so are our handy gadgets, fancy cars, spiffy shoes, colorful yoga mats and ridiculously expensive bikes – A bunch of cells and molecules blended craftily together. If there’s a major distinction to be pointed out between us and these cherished inanimate objects, it’s that we tactile beings are blessed with the ability to feel our emotions and to communicate them to others. Or do we?!?
While we have the ability to express our emotions to others, sometimes – most of the time, we don’t always do it when we desperately need to. It’s important to pause and ask why every once in a while. As you may have noticed in my recent posts, I have been asking myself “why” quite a bit of late. I do so because we live in social media/hyper connected world that tells us, don’t feel upset,” or don’t feel sad, don’t worry, and to “Be brave and stand tall” when adversity graces our lives. It’s also important to remember that the world we live in has a double-edge sword, waiting patiently to chop our heads off when our emotions sway the opposite direction, when we boast and brag about a new gadget, personal best and buying a new bike. The net result of all of “this,” is one sad but brutally true underlying message – Stop being and don’t feel anything.
My posts of late have been painfully tedious for one important reason: I’m starting to make a habit of honoring myself and you, each and every day. One last question before we part ways this morning: Before you click “publish, “like” or post anything online … Is there a moment where you think about the ramifications of your action(s), a moment where you stop being and fail to feel anything?!?
The parts of me that used to think I was different or smarter or whatever, almost made me die-
Nineteen powerful words by David Foster Wallace that truly defined who I used to be.
Last night, while making pizza with my Son, I missed an entire meaningful conversation about the new Star Wars movie he was trying to have with me. I was completely tuned out, and not because I was engrossed in making pizza and snacking on tortilla chips, but because I was engrossed in a NPR news story being played through a small speaker attached to my gadget-thing.
Side Note: Men reading this morning, and ladies alike – because as cunning and sly as you may be … I enjoy taking an extra-long time in the bathroom with my iThingy, I use my small arsenal of “mindless” apps as a means to escape the stress and chaos that often seems to accompany me throughout the day.
These periods of mindless isolation normally do not last very long, usually until one leg falls asleep or NPR news starts getting all high-minded and political while preparing dinner. I genuinely welcome these temporary escapes from the daily grind, although, how much is too much? Honestly, I don’t have an answer to give you and I’d be surprised if anyone else does either.
Perhaps, maybe, it would be ideal if we reintroduced “intention” and “purpose” to our gadget use, even during the times when we are not using them. How cool would it be if we motivated each other to unplug at a time we are normally plugged in? Raise your hand if you are on your gadget minutes after finishing yoga class, in the restroom or making dinner?!? – notice my hands waving in the breeze – Just imagine the new sounds, the new encounters that awaken when we expose our true selves, to the very real world we call home …
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light–
These early morning cycling commutes have me thinking about fear, a lot …
Maybe I’m out of touch this morning, although I don’t think anyone in their right mind wishes to walk this beautiful path in life completely fearless. At least after the rush of a close encounter, we can appreciate that our internal warning “thing” is aligned with the red traffic light up ahead, preventing us from crossing the intersection and becoming tasty roadkill for the turkey vultures circling above (I miss roundabouts). Thinking about this for a moment, I don’t think I know anyone who appreciates being afraid for no good reason, or even just being anxious about future events; which just so happens to be my definition of being a “worry wort.“
Once I start worrying above and beyond what is needed for the most basic survival (food – water – family – bikes – fantasy hockey …), worry builds upon worry, and my thoughts spin out of control. The question is what to do about worrying when it makes no sense?!?
: Take a deep breath and return to the present moment :
Our “worried” minds are accustomed to seeing only the negative in life, ignoring the awe-inspiring spectacle of beauty, love, and boundless opportunity that awaits us. Instead of “worrying” about these threats – Red Lights – Road Kill – Turkey Vultures … Maybe we can hone in on what is right in our life, the “little” things, such as the beautiful sky above, dew on a blade of grass and the Pittsburgh Penguins being eliminated from the NHL playoffs.
For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain–
With our attention spans growing smaller, we often find ourselves bored and impatient – A potent mix indeed. The more we feel “trapped” in any given situation—listening to a co-worker’s weekend triumph(s), waiting in line for a chai tea latte, the more impatient we become. If we can’t access the MindBody app thing on our gadget, our increasing anxiety, sprinkled with the slow passage of time, stinks – big time!
Question is: What can we do about it?
My go to cure for boredom and impatience? Is to make sure I have regular, new challenges and interesting things to do each and every day. Why? To make sure I maintain an emotional balance; I need a generous dose of “down time” time to rest my mind and my nerves.
Take a moment to recognize your boredom this week, the tedium of daily life that pisses you off. Then when you sense ennui settling in, make a mental shift … As soon as you take your next deep breath.
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about–
What is keeping you from being truly happy?!?
Maybe it’s not even the weight itself that you really seek to lose. Maybe what you really want to rid yourself of, is not the extra pounds, but rather the unhappiness you have learned to associate with it?!?
What if you could be happy without having to change or “fix” your body?
The kind of happiness I want to discuss, differs dramatically, from the temporary warmth and comfort that comes from getting what you want; stepping on the scale one morning and noticing a few pounds have vanished or a friend noticing you look amazing in your new yoga pants. The happiness I want to passionately share with you, is deeper and more abiding – dude. My definition of happiness is rooted in a sense of peace and well-being that cannot be “gained” nor can it be “lost” …
My kind of happiness? Is already part of your true self. It’s not hidden in the numbers displayed on an antiseptic scale. It’s not in the latest fashion trends from Lululemon, and it is certainly not from a friend.
My kind of happiness is the fruit of repeated acts of daily kindness, compassion, patience, forgiveness, courage, and love towards myself and others.
Cultivating my kind of happiness? True happiness as defined by me? Is a beautiful smile that graces your adoring face walking past a mirror, and practicing peace, with your body.