I set out to discover the why of it, and to transform my pleasure into knowledge-
I ask myself this morning, running in from the rain:
What does it take to receive myself with an open heart?
Every encounter we have during the day, life changes us. Every fleeting experience rewires a part of our consciousness. We are constantly changing. To truly befriend ourselves, to be open to who and what we are, we can practice the willingness to discover ourselves anew.
What do we actually know about our intimate selves? We have “experts” who flippantly tell us what is “right” and “wrong.” We have “standards” that we are “supposed” to meet, against which other people will measure us. We have competitions we can enter that will allow us to “win” and to “lose.”
To discover ourselves requires us to look at who we are without bias and certainly without judgment(s). It requires us not to measure, not to compete. It requires us to receive ourselves with the willingness to discover ourselves, just as we are, right now, with a pure heart.
Practice befriending yourself, open your hearts in receptive curiosity.
What you seek is seeking you-
It is fascinating to note that as my sense of self-appreciation slowly increases, the attraction(s) in my life have begun to change.
The delicate conversation of self-appreciation revolves around attributes to which I call “true gifts.” These attributes encompass my personal places of deepest sensitivity, emotions – laid barre so to speak. These are the aspects of my true nature that can be touched most deeply, or hurt most terribly. These parts are as unique as my fingerprints and the physical scars I wear; they are my true “authentic self.” At times they might feel like true gifts, and at other times like deep flaws (if you have had the pleasure of fracturing an orbital bone? You know of what I speak of) …
I’d like to share something with you this afternoon: Until we learn to embrace our true gifts? We will be continually attracted to people and “things” that devalue us. Please, think about this today as you pour half your heart into your yoga practice, or anything else for that matter.
As I learned to express and embrace the very qualities which have made me feel vulnerable and different, my attraction(s) slowly began to change. I started to lose my taste for “things” which chipped away at me and this is truly a wonderful experience.
Our true gifts are not easily found … It’s when we pause to seek what nourishes and inspires us: Supportive family and friends, yoga outside one morning, or a brisk walk during lunch … Something to think about.
May what I do flow from me like a river, no forcing and no holding back, the way it is with children-
The slow march away from what we”perceive” as the most important “thing(s)” in our lives begins with a subtle shift of emotional meaning from the self to the world around us.
Can we be honest, vulnerable, with one another for a fleeting moment? We’ve all done what we are about to talk about. We’ve devalued ourselves and our dreams as “damaged, worthless” as an excuse to justify acting out at someone else in our lives. Have you ever run such a horrid race and spent the next week being an unbearable oaf to be around? Ever fall on your chin for the millionth time trying to find balance in vrschikasana, only to write a scathing blog post condemning hyper flexible individuals later in the evening, whilst rubbing your chin?
Damn it feels good lashing out at others, urinating over another persons kindness, rubbing their noses in our misery. However, this adrenalin rush we bathe ourselves in … Comes at enormous cost: It traps us in a permanent devalued state of being that greatly impairs our ability to create value in life. Let’s read this last sentence one more time together …
How can we possibly do well in our chosen endeavor(s), when we devalue the people close to us, due to our own failings? Doing so ignites a smoldering brush fire within all involved.
If you feel that you’re traveling down a long and sad road, let’s name this road; “Pity Party Ave“, spewing your devalued self, your resentful conflict towards those standing around watching you pass by, ask yourself: Who is more likely to respect your feelings, the people you value and cherish or the loving people rubbing sh!t off their noses because of our actions?!?
What a lovely way to start the weekend, take care and please be well!
I am not an angel,” I asserted; “and I will not be one till I die: I will be myself-
Before we get started with the usual jibber-jabber a few important notes:
Two women I sincerely look up to and love are back in the news. Holley Mangold is on this seasons run of The Biggest Loser (whatever this is). Her passion, authenticity and spirit are simply beautiful and empowering! Long time readers keenly know I have been on the Team Mangold bandwagon for quite some time and I hope you hop on as well! Also in the news is my dearest friend Anne. Anne and her relay team consisting of some rather dashing and lovely young ladies took first place in the annual Market to Market relay between Omaha, Nebraska and Lincoln, Nebraska. I learn more from Anne than she will ever learn from me, brilliant performance!
… What follows is a draft I started yet never got around polishing up to post. What you read below is unedited, pouring out of my heart and thoughts concerning weight, sensuality and image. Taboo topics to so many …
A woman or man who is worried about their appearance will never be able to relax enough to let their true sensuality and spirit shine upon us.
If we are insistently worried about our tummy overhang and flabby arms, we become tense to the world. Far too many of us spend countless hours staring in a mirror and in our lovers arms on alert for reassurances from them, that they are indeed attractive enough to “us“.
If we look deeply enough in their eyes, in our own hearts we will indeed see that we really are: Beautiful and Sensual.
If we are ashamed of our shape, the damn number on a scale – We will be stilled. We will not feel entitled to being seen in public and between the sheets, we fade quietly into the background of not wanting to seek attention, never allowing our brilliance to shine.
I loathe sharing self-serving advice, prefacing statements … Learn to feel and love your body, express your passion openly onto this beautiful world. Be the Lilly of the Night that opens its petals, openly defy the description(s) the world has placed on you – Shine.