Basic Space

If you claim to be a real friend then be real in your soul. If you claim to be fake then be an enemy instead-

I was in my early 30′s when we first met. This particular marathon was in a beautiful and exotic part of war-torn Baghdad, Iraq. I did not like it from the start and it only got worse from there

I nuzzled my way onto the starting line cocky, arrogant, and self-centered. I couldn’t stand the thought of having to run through the pack, outlasting the early sprinters and generally weaving through the pedestrians. Much to my dismay, I faded back 10 miles into this scorching hot race. This was just another marathon, but I was the same person.

And there I was at the next big race in Bagram Airfield, Afghanistan. The same person I was a year earlier followed me to this race as well

It finally dawned on me, blonde hair and all, that it was I, who needed to change or else I would be my own worst enemy for the rest of my life. As I began to walk the path of meaningful change in my life, I came to realize my poor marathon performances were a metaphor for the way my life works. I can cast blame and run away from poor performances, although they will keep returning until I finally face them, and owe up to them.

Over the past three years of blogging. I tried at times, and failed more often than I like, to share with you, thinking out-loud, why these particular traits of me bother me so much.

Daily Meditation:

Once I set out to change myself all those years ago, I started to notice that the “old” me doesn’t come around as much anymore. When these feelings do arise out of nowhere? I tap deeper into my inner compassion and gratitude … Noticing that in some ways, I have been trying to help myself all along, I was just to cockyarrogant, and self-centered to notice.

CultFit Path


Liberation : Front :

If you’ve got nothing to dance about, find a reason to sing-

There are an infinite amount of wellness, exercise, health, fitness, yoga and “whatever” blogs, websites and apps that offer endless advice opportunities to improve ourselves, although until we learn how to love our true selves, and nurture these fragile new shoots? It’s unlikely we’ll find the love we seek. When we approach our search for self-love as an intimate journey, and not as a Strava race against time, a punishing series of new workouts or some extreme mud run, everything changes.

In the last five years of seeking a relationship with myself (you read that correctly – some dude learning to love himself … Not a cool thing to admit now isn’t it?), I have spent an incalculable amount of hours looking for love in places that lacked love: Battering my body early every morning in the gym and trail running until exhaustion before bed, using “extreme” and “trendy” training methods I read about online that had little to do with self-love. Concealing all traces of my unseemly need to be someone who I was not I was endlessly engrossed seeking to be the best. However, as it turns out, this path led me a life of pain and ruin.

As much as we are led to believe that finding self-love and accepting who we really are is all about maxing out each and every rep, improving our appearance in yoga class, or beating every goddamn person in this marathon … It’s ultimately our inner spirit that lets us find and keep real, lasting love. When we learn to bring our inner spirit into the ways we search for self-love? This is when the real changes begin to happen in our lives.

Daily Meditation:

Through exploring and finding our own deeper insights, we transform and deepen our search for self-love … I have finally come to believe that these moments of self-reflection move us more quickly to finding self-love than anything else we will read about today.

Thank you Claudia for the recent award and for inspiring me to finally publish this post.

CultFit Self


Pure – The Sound of Gratitude

My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then has been a bonus-

This past Thursday I walked into a local novelty store in the Omaha Old Market. “Good afternoon – How are you?” A kind worker asked me, a little too enthusiastic for the morning I was having. Life has been dreadful so far this Summer, and facing some stressful moments at the time I did not shy away pretending all was fine.

I muttered, “I’m OK.” She replied back while stocking gift cards in a display, “Just OK? Not awesome? It’s a beautiful day outside! Cheer up dude, you should be thankful for what you have?”

There was no smile on my face this particular day. Although I still had gratitude and joy in my heart. Sometimes, expressing kindness and giving thanks does not require a peppy cheerleading routine.

Daily Meditation:

The message I am sharing today is a touch different from the norm around these parts. Simply put - There are times when we are experiencing difficult moments in our lives, and its hard to be – Awesome. Sometimes, openly telling others to “cheer up” and “be thankful for what you have” is a strategy for avoiding what they may be going through in the moment, the pain, the hurting and struggle.

It’s really easy to tell someone to cheer up. Rather than taking a moment to listen to what is going on in their lives

All of us will face difficult moments in our lives, piss poor marathon this past weekend, stress at work and whatever else. Grief is a part of life and no matter how hard we try – we will never outrun it. We don’t have to have everything going right in order to be thankful, to express ever lasting kindness, in any situation.

CultFit Gratitude

 


Life in – Mono -

Even chance meetings are the result of karma… Things in life are fated by our previous lives. That even in the smallest events there’s no such thing as coincidence-

Its a beautiful morning and the perfect time to discuss karma.

I often hear from different folks (I personally contemplate these thoughts as well) who want to know why they are struggling, when others are not (running specific this morning). The vast majority of them think their training/performance is some sort of “karmic retribution” for a fleeting, bad action in the past – Heaven forbid we eat three pieces of wedding cake the day before a race! Fast forward to limping across the finish line, emotional and sick because “bad karma” doomed them to suffer from the very start. 

This next bit is a memo to myself: The simple truth about Karma? Karma is about the nature of our intentions, our intentions in this very moment.

When we respond to our intention and action(s), with kindness, compassion, and generosity? We are planting the seeds of change, slowly blossoming into someone who is kind, compassionate, and generous. We are defining our character, which in turn has a pretty cool effect on the world around us.

Daily Meditation:

The teachings of Buddha in regards to karma can be life changing. Each one of us posses the ability to change ourselves no matter how ingrained our habits may be, even blaming a poor performance on wedding cake. As some wise dude once said: “Intending, one does karma.”

CultFit Mono

 


Morning : Star :

No matter how hard you try, there are times when things just don’t go as planned. And, it’s not because you are doing something wrong. It is because the thing you are after is not designed for you. It is not a part of your destiny-

The subtle art of paying attention to the details in the present moment – Mindfulness. We don’t often “think” we are engaged in the process of being mindful  Whether through practicing yoga early one morning, listing to the birds playing riding to work, taking in the beauty of a lone daisy swaying in a field Without getting caught up in where these moment may be leading us. 

The past week has been rough, I have to admit that it’s been hard to focus on the present moment; my reckless past and  gentle future seem to be taking up all the free space in my brain these days (which isn’t much to begin with). My practice of Ahiṃsā, has fallen out of balance of late as well. Pushing a little too hard mountain bike racing, and not paying attention while commuting to work – Life pro tip: Railroad tracks are “slippery when wet” … Not honoring my true spirit and self has been anything but mindful of late.

Daily Meditation:

This beautiful moment right now, reminds me that the present moment contains the possibility for all things, including freedom from suffering, picking splinters and little gravel bits from the battered left side of my body. Being mindful right now? Is not going to make my bruises and scars magically disappear, reverse the abuse I have put my body through this past week, put the Colorado Avalanche back in playoffs, or even re true my front wheel.

My Dear Reader(s) we are here, in this beautiful – crazy mess for other reasons as well … To marinate in this tender (literally) moment – fully present and mindful. Have a fantastic weekend, and please take care!

CultFit Mindful