My beerdrunk soul is sadder than all the dead christmas trees of the world-
A former hockey coach once pulled me aside during practice to tell me, “Don’t beat yourself up comparing your abilities to the other players. There will always be players better than you, and worse than you. The most important “thing” is to ask yourself right now: “Am I improving?”
What the hell did that coach just tell me? Seriously old dude, I’m 19, in peak physical shape, my sh!t don’t stink and I’m playing the best hockey of my life …
Fast forward 19 years, and what my caring coach so passionately shared with me – Not comparing myself to “others” is often easier said than done. Open up your heart and eyes this morning and take notice of how we are constantly being bombarded by advertisements preying on our insecurities: You have been a bum all year, You are fat and out of shape, You ate one too many eggnog cheesecake(s) within the past week. Our addiction to social media feeds our jealousy by creating the illusion that other people are living happier, more fulfilling lives than our own.
On this, the most vulnerable day of the year (for many caring people). I implore you to stop comparing yourself to others, and instead compare yourself to the person you were one year ago – right now. Are you happier, more confident and peaceful?
Getting in tune with our true wishes, our deepest wishes that lie underneath our insecurities and envy? Is hard work, and it’s certainly not cool to boast about on FaceTube. What the hell am I trying to say? Setting an intention this New year … Is pretty damn cool!
In Silence there is eloquence. Stop weaving and see how the pattern improves-
How different would everyday life become, if we embraced silence?
Over the course of writing this blog-o-thing I have adapted a leisurely pace in life … Attending more yoga classes, spending more time unconnected from the web and partaking in long, flowing bike rides without a care in the world.
As Festivus and winter set in, the bikes resting at ease in the front bedroom. I turned my attention homeward, focusing more on the events of my daily life. It truly is possible to attend a silent retreat, where my only interactions with my surroundings are with a smile and an attentive ear. I stopped listening to the radio while driving, the TV stays off when I get home from work and magically … My son and I are reading more in front of the fireplace.
It is such a relief to be free of “noise” … The stillness in my heart is based solely on silence rather than a frantic beat or change in tempo.
I have begun to notice in this “silence,” the crunch of salt on the walkways leading into work, the rustle of a few stubborn leaves in the breeze, a red tail hawk gliding past …
Silence has kindly given me clarity and inspiration.
Be kind your body and heart today …
After so long an absence
At last we meet again:
Does the meeting give us pleasure,
Or does it give us pain?
The tree of life has been shaken,
And but few of us linger now,
Like the Prophet’s two or three berries
In the top of the uttermost bough.
We cordially greet each other
In the old, familiar tone;
And we think, though we do not say it,
How old and gray he is grown!
We speak of a Merry Christmas
And many a Happy New Year
But each in his heart is thinking
Of those that are not here.
We speak of friends and their fortunes,
And of what they did and said,
Till the dead alone seem living,
And the living alone seem dead.
And at last we hardly distinguish
Between the ghosts and the guests;
And a mist and shadow of sadness
Steals over our merriest jests.
Compassion is the basis of morality-
Here is the flat-out, honest truth you have been searching for your entire life: You are going to screw up eventually.
Everyone, You, me – the dude picking his nose in the car next to you … Make many mistakes, daily.
A few times in the not so distant past, I have lamented painfully about self-compassion. Self-compassion (loosely defined) is the extent to which you treat yourself with kindness. Self-compassion differs from the likes self-esteem (its critical to note this), which is how good you feel about yourself. Self-compassion determines how well you spring back from adversity during the course of the day. Like getting down on ourselves when “things” go sideways … Treating ourselves and others with kindness, makes it infinitely easier to recover from harmful experience(s).
When our sole focus is intent on protecting our self-esteem, we can’t afford to look at ourselves objectively, honestly and with a pure heart. We fail to acknowledge the need for improvement, because it means acknowledging weaknesses, shortcomings and maybe – That we screwed up somewhere in our past …
Gobble – Gobble my Dear Readers!