Not there to see midsummer’s midnight rose
open and bloom, me,
or there when the river dressed in turquoise
under the moon, you;
not there when stones softened, opened, showed
the fossils they held
or there, us, when the dark sky fell to the earth
to gather its smell.
Not there when a strange bird sang on a branch
over our heads, you
and me, or there when a starlit fruit ripened
itself on a tree.
Not there to lie on the grass of our graves, both,
alive alive oh,
or there for Shakespeare’s shooting star,
or for who we are,
but elsewhere, far. Not there for the magic hour
when time becomes love
or there for light’s pale hand to slip, slender,
from darkness’s glove.
Not there when our young ghosts called to us
from the other side
or there where the heron’s rags were a silver gown,
by grace of the light.
Not there to be right, to find our souls, we,
dropped silks on the ground,
or there to be found again by ourselves, you, me,
mirrored in water.
Not there to see constellations spell themselves on the sky
and black rhyme with white
or there to see petals fold on a rose like a kiss
on midsummer night.
I must be a mermaid, Rango. I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living-
As I strive to live each day, focused on changing myself and the world we live in for the better, I started to notice I ask more questions than actually getting anything meaningful accomplished.
Many moons ago when I first started writing this humble blog-o-thing, I came up with a litmus test before doing “anything” – Ask questions out loud to myself, situations change when I take a moment to write my most vulnerable thoughts and questions down and get a healthy, deep inner dialogue going. Yes! Talk out loud to yourself in public, trust me its OK, and here’s why: Asking questions matters in our lives. I’m a shining example that a deeper level of questioning can help to transform yourself.
*Listed below, in no particular order are a few questions I kick around, out-loud mind you, during the course of a day*
Can I do one thing today to make a small, noticeable difference?
What am I waiting for?
Am I as open to new possibilities as I think I am?
What can I do differently today, to begin making the changes I want to make in my life?
What do I want to spend the rest of the day doing?
How do I create more harmony and bliss in my life?
What do I look forward to doing every day?
What’s the tiniest change I can make that will create the largest difference in my life, change that might create a ripple effect touching those around me?
What am I creating that will outlive me?
Is it time to start something new? Like right now?
When I’m not asking myself questions, I become stuck in the same old habits, the same old tired and worn out routines. Sometimes Dear Reader – All it takes is asking a question out loud before entering your 10am yoga class. A piece of paper from a kitchen drawer to scribble a note, a blank screen on your gadget to see your amazing reflection … The simple act of speaking (or writing) a question, makes it tangible, dense and real.
Last June after dealing with another string of self-inflicted injuries from racing and competing beyond what my body could take. A friend offered up a ride to take my mind off things … This upcoming Saturday evening is the annual GONG Ride here in our fair city – Omaha, Nebraska! Hands down the best social ride in Omaha all year – Please join us and keep in mind, the first round of drinks is on me!
Arousal begins within the mind, then seeps out where fantasy propels physicality-
Is striking a match necessary in order to light a candle? The initial sparks of a freshly lit candle can yield a warm blaze, and the same simple action(s) can be applied to lighting our inner fire.
The passion building in our hearts matters just as much as what our muscles are doing in regards to sparks that can start a fire. If you are thinking about your workout program tomorrow morning, segment planning on Strava, picking out your running clothes and making sure your yoga pants are ready to go … These feelings of passion are likely to arise. If you are focused on the way your body “looks“, the woman who just breezed by you, comparing yourself to everyone in the crowd or fleeting fantasies of how “hot” and “toned” you will be after class? Odds are that your passion will decrease …
The key word folks is focus. States of flow, including flow during yoga class and while out riding early one morning, depend upon my focused attention (otherwise I keep awaking old injuries). Hence, I prefer to spark my fire by using a magnifying glass – Like a beam of light, the more pinpoint my focus, the more intense my states of flow are. A magnifying glass can intensify and focus sunlight to the point that a single beam of light will cause the candle upon which it is focused, to burn into flame … What actions do you take, to spark your inner fire?
Not every day
is a good day
for the elfin tailor.
the stolen cloth
reveals what it
was made for:
a handsome weskit
or the jerkin
of an elfin sailor.
sees a jacket
in his mind
and sets about
to find the fabric.
But some days
neither the idea
nor the material
and these are
the hard days
for the tailor elf.
- Kay Ryan
Morning without you is a dwindled dawn-
*Written this past Wednesday at 0500*
I’m more than a little bit pissed off this morning. Primarily with myself (for ignoring my tight hamstrings and back for nearly two weeks), at our local utility company (for raising our rates again), at the lousy Nebraska weather forecasting people (for raising my hopes for nice biking weather), at some close friends I help train for not taking my advice about ultra marathon prep, and at my body once again (because it’s been barely three weeks and I’m lying on the floor covered with ice).
*Written five minutes ago*
Looking back at what I wrote last week, it just occurred to me that maybe my extreme frustration with “life” and the people around me, has at least as much to do with my own irritation(s) at the way I take care of, and treat myself. Interesting to think that if one is as gentle, kind and compassionate as one would like to be, one wouldn’t get quite so pissed off at the necessary trials of dealing with this thing called “life” …
I leave you with this – In one sentence – Who are you?
My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then has been a bonus-
This past Thursday I walked into a local novelty store in the Omaha Old Market. “Good afternoon – How are you?” A kind worker asked me, a little too enthusiastic for the morning I was having. Life has been dreadful so far this Summer, and facing some stressful moments at the time … I did not shy away pretending all was fine.
I muttered, “I’m OK.” She replied back while stocking gift cards in a display, “Just OK? Not awesome? It’s a beautiful day outside! Cheer up dude, you should be thankful for what you have?”
There was no smile on my face this particular day. Although I still had gratitude and joy in my heart. Sometimes, expressing kindness and giving thanks does not require a peppy cheerleading routine.
The message I am sharing today is a touch different from the norm around these parts. Simply put - There are times when we are experiencing difficult moments in our lives, and its hard to be – Awesome. Sometimes, openly telling others to “cheer up” and “be thankful for what you have” is a strategy for avoiding what they may be going through in the moment, the pain, the hurting and struggle.
It’s really easy to tell someone to cheer up. Rather than taking a moment to listen to what is going on in their lives…
All of us will face difficult moments in our lives, piss poor marathon this past weekend, stress at work and whatever else. Grief is a part of life and no matter how hard we try – we will never outrun it. We don’t have to have everything going right in order to be thankful, to express ever lasting kindness, in any situation.
These are fragrant acres where
Evening comes long hours late
And the still unmoving air
Cools the fevered hands of Fate.
Meadows where the afternoon
Hangs suspended in a flower
And the moments of our doom
Drift upon a weightless hour.
And we who thought that surely night
Would bring us triumph or defeat
Only find the stars are white
Clover at our naked feet.