Be — don’t try to become-
It’s 8:30 am, the kids are packed and ready for school, you are dressed and “ready” for yoga class at 9:00. Your mat, towel and chilled coconut water are in the car already. The kiddos are hopping about causing a ruckus as you hurry them out the front door … “Where in the hell are the car keys?!?“
At this very moment you have two choices moving forward: Being or Doing?
Being involves slowing down our frantic mind and deliberately grounding ourselves by focusing on the present moment, the “lost” car keys. In being , it’s completely fine to be your true self, and in this case? A forgetful blonde haired dude. Embrace the moment to develop a different relationship with your own senses and emotions by deliberately focusing on what they are trying to patiently convey to you.
Being involves accepting what is, there’s nothing we can do to change the current situation. Rather than berating ourselves for not knowing where the keys are or placing blame onto others, we allow ourselves to look fully and with an open mind at where we are. Eventually we realize that the situation may not be as catastrophic as initially we believed it to be. We learn to extend love onto others, compassion, kindness to ourselves, and everything around us … “Oh look here are the keys sitting on top of the filing cabinet in the garage. Exactly where I placed them after forgetting to roll up the windows before bed last night.“
Some of the most important “things” in life are as simple as misplacing our car keys.
Those who do not move, do not notice their chains-
Can someone please answer this seemingly “simple” question: What the heck is progress?
Let’s narrow our focus on yoga for our conversation this morning … Progress on your trusty yoga mat looks and feels rather different from a straight gravel road shooting up over the horizon. After a few sips of juniper berry infused mead, I like to think of progress on the mat as more of a dance, the rumba to be more specific. Two steps forward, one step back, a smile, loosening up a bit, three steps forward, two confident steps back. We seem to find our own pace, our own rhythm even if it takes a few drinks.
Progress with yoga often gets worse, much worse before it gets better. Being a dude I didn’t know this initially and I thought I was losing control of both my mind and body. I was confused (this is very easy for me) because I thought that yoga was supposed strengthen me both spiritually and physically – Instantly.
What I didn’t know at the time was that this dance backwards was the very beginning of taking a few gentle, confident steps forward. I had to regress before I could start once again to creep ahead. Just like an infant crawling on their little hands and knees, I needed to learn how to roll over, sit up, fall down and crawl before I could walk (literally).
Sometimes I didn’t want to get up after falling down. Looking back, I don’t know how I got up on my feet again after the trying times, life. Eventually I did. Then I stumbled and fell again back onto my mat. Clumsily I rose to my knees, then to my shaky feet once again. This morning I stood straight after riding my bike to work. This is my dance in life.
Learning to love yourself, to take care of your emotional and physical self. This is how I define progress.
ما قيمة الأسماء عندما لا تختلف عن أي واحد آخر ؟
I often talk with close friends, those who are open and honest about their bodies and spirituality about “something” that I have found to be very important to me personally. The concept I would like to share with you this morning is: Don’t Try Harder, Try Different.
Many of us are hopelessly stuck doing the same thing over and over again, hoping that the next time we try, if we just try a bit harder, push a little bit more, all will be well in the end. Trying harder at “something” that is already not working (yoga and running are classic examples) is only going to lead to more injury, more stress, more pain compounded over time.
So why not try to do something different for a change?
Easy, right!?! One of the most often asked questions I receive here is: “My 5k time is 30 minutes and I want it to be 19 minutes. What do I need to do?” My answer, quite likely, may very well be the most difficult thing that this person will ever do: Think and consider what you could do differently compared to what you are currently doing.
Don’t Try Harder, Try Different.
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy-
I wanted Mother’s Day to be different this year. I wanted to continue my climb upward on the Mother’s Day Classiness Gift Giving Scale. Last year was pretty pathetic, a cheap card from Target and a box of Govida Truffle’s. This year? I wandered into our local Lululemon bodega (our Lulu store is right next to a wine shop = Awesome!). What could possibly go wrong?
For us dudes, a few steps into a Lululemon store is a highly visual, sensual and erotic experience! We are greeted by provocatively attired mannequins, I mean staff … and, further back in the store, just beyond the camel toe concealing yoga pants, women are exiting fitting rooms attired in raiment that often do not seem to fit—literally, and with no pun intended, figuratively.
This sight started my mind wandering on this sultry weekend afternoon, with my lovely wife’s purse in one hand and a strawberry banana smoothie in the other: How damaging can a woman’s relationship with her body be? Damaging enough to result in pain of both a psychological and physical nature?
Throughout their lives, women of all ages must deal with idealized, societal norms and how they “measure up” in life. There are different stereotypes spanning the entire spectrum of a woman’s shape: A girl or woman with large breasts, thick hips may have to contend with unsavory assumptions about her sexuality. From a different angle, this same girl or woman may feel inadequate should she have smaller breasts and no hips. Both are patently absurd.
It is therefore not surprising to see women this afternoon squeezing into garments that don’t quite seem to fit, as they struggle daily with how they confront societal myths, that don’t quite fit.
So, I thought: “Maybe I won’t buy anything in this store? Maybe a bottle of dark chocolate wine from next door would be the better option?“
Happy Mother’s Day!
*Back by popular demand – The most viewed pic in the history of CultFit*
There are some pretty interesting and cool things going down over at Traveling Marla!
It is by no means an irrational fancy that, in a future existence, we shall look upon what we think our present existence, as a dream-
I’ve arrived at a conclusion this morning, that one simple, mindful day out of the year, set aside for us to do what we’re ordinarily not very good at: Recognizing our own limitations and identifying needs for improvement. Is a good idea.
Today, Dear Reader? You get the unblemished truth …
My cycling club had a “wellness ride” last month (ish). I participated, and because we are open and honest here … I won’t hide the truth as to what my motivation for attending was: I wanted the free t-shirt that went along with it. Seriously, what better way to break from the normal weekend ride than to offer me a mediocre, hunter’s orange t-shirt for a paltry $35 participant fee?
You’d be amazed and nauseated if I told you this was some sort of mistake I had wandered into. The ride was tremendously windy. My body was not quite feeling up to the task of a 50 mile single speed ride starting at 7am on a Sunday. Sleep had been non-existent all week, work was more stressful than normal, I failed to have my sweet ride up on the car the night before. The morning of the ride was chaotic …
Looking back, I was willing to go to great lengths to refute the objective information my body and mind were presenting to me, simply because I ignored it. I pushed harder and harder during the last few miles, paid little attention to my knee aching, my shoulders and hips tightening up. The walk into the house later that evening was pure hell and having my son see me in such a poor condition left little doubt to the pain I had caused this Sunday in late March.
I (you) do the same very “thing“, every single weekend.
You could write, painfully every day for eternity talking about self-deception and how much it has to offer and take away. Self deception allows us to remain resilient stepping off the scale, having not lost 10 pounds this month. Self deception also allows us to recover quickly from failure. It gives us dudes the balls to say, I know I’m injured right now, my body is weak and stressed, but I want a t-shirt and beer tickets.
My keen ability to keep failing to assume responsibility for my actions, which affect many other lovely people around me, I never fully seize the opportunity for actual improvement, whatever that is. I refused to surrender to the reality unfolding around me and I became an insufferable asshole up until this morning (if you are doing the math at home: One whole month), who no one wants to be around or kiss when you get home from work.
One day, maybe this morning? Grasp the importance and wisdom that arrives when we recognize the importance of seeing ourselves, for who we really are.
Be well friends and take care this weekend.
… I can’t help wanting us
to be like other people.
For example, if I were a smoker,
you’d lift a match to the cigarette
just as I put it between my lips.
It’s never been like that
between us: none of that
easy chemistry, no quick, half automatic
flares. Everything between us
had to be learned.
Saturday finds me brooding
behind my book, all my fantasies
of seduction run up
against the rocks.
Tell me again
why you don’t like
sex in the afternoon?
No, don’t tell me–
I’ll never understand you
never understand us, America’s strangest
loving couple: they never
drink a bottle of wine together
and rarely look at each other.
Into each other’s eyes, I mean.
How hard is it to put down the gadgets, pull your lover close, eye to eye, heart to heart, open a bottle of wine, chill?!?