Thursday 26 January 2012

We don’t live in a world of reality, we live in a world of perceptions-

Batten down the hatches and pour a warm cup of tea.  This message has been building momentum since the turn of the year:  The Tabata Pandemic

9623 peeps will read this bloviated message today and of said group of well intended fitness gurus, 9623 peeps will still not get it!  Those are the facts deal with them as you like?!?

We pride ourselves on our exactitude.  As you’ll see from this post, we provide copious detail and try to be as precise as possible when describing the ways in which the Tabata Method thrives on the victimization of others.  The first thing we want to bring up is that the Tabata Method will fail you miserably.  We’ll probably devote a separate post to that topic alone, but for now we’ll simply summarize by stating that if we had to choose the most depraved specimen from the Tabata Method’s welter of saturnine gabble, it would have to be the Tabata Method’s claim that it has achieved sainthood.  For a variety of reasons, some strategic, some ideological, some attitudinal, and all of them wrong, unholy, delusional ignoramuses delegitimize our belief systems and replace them with a counter-hegemony that seeks to calumniate helpless pillocks.  We have always assumed that the Tabata Method’s disquisitions are written in a peculiar doublespeak that is hard for the uninitiated to understand, but the fact of the matter is that the Tabata Method should think about how its treatises lead what we call scabrous lugs to impose theological straightjackets on scriptural interpretation. If the Tabata Method doesn’t want to think that hard, perhaps it should just keep quiet.  Let us end by appealing to our collective sense of humanity: Repeating something over and over does not make it true.

“What in the hell is this?” 

The Plan-

If you made it this far?  Take a deep breath and relax.  You obviously know how to use the internet so pull up the old Google Machine and search away Tabata Method…

We recently asked the question to a motivated focus group here at CultFit HQ:  Define the Tabata Method in under 10 words?  The usual suspects emerged…CrossFit, Intervals, Intensity, Pinterest, Yoga (we called BS on this one), Blah Blah.

Leave it to Uncle Hayden to step in and offer this juicy bit of knowledge that he read from an actual real live living book, of all things!

“Your doing it wrong!”  None of the readers here today have even remotely come close to 170% of VO2 MAX- EVER!!!

READ UP!!!

The Workout-

Rest Day…

Although we are working on a new protocol called the Jabata Method: 25 Seconds of Work followed by 5 Seconds of rest for 4 rounds.

Notes:

Rest up today, stay healthy and ENJOY!!!

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4 Comments on “Thursday 26 January 2012”

  1. Amanda says:

    HA! Love the Scroll of Laziness! I have to admit that I often use Pinterest to get ideas for workouts. I do not always follow them as planned, but I do like the offering. It allows me to be creative when I see suggestions. I am too poor/remote to hire a personal trainer. I fear that people who are uneducated about weight training/fitness will end up coming out on the short end of finding random workouts online. EDUCATE YOURSELF, PEOPLE!

  2. I’ve never used the Interwebs for workouts. I’ll use pinterest to get all motivated, looking at pics of chicks with packs of six lining their abs so sick…. (sorry, freestyling just happens sometimes).

    anyways. i like my workouts. i got a good ole brain with decades of swimming, running, biking, dryland, weights, intervals, whatevs all crammed into me.

  3. Thanks for checking out my blog! Just reading through this first post I can tell that yours is great. I especially love the Jabata method and lazy pictures, some of those are pretty ridiculous :)

  4. [...] at CultFit?  Maybe these brush fires he started awhile back are still burning within you…THIS and THIS?  He’s the one who will stumble down the stairs in the morning and urinate in your [...]