May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house-
Keep it simple today X-Fit albóndigas! Now if your idea of keeping it simple is heading down to the “box” dressed like a fool and ignoring the fact today is for the “kids” in our lives? Well…At least take a few pictures and post them online so that we can make fun of you for eternity.
Pulled from the “Keep it Simple” archive here at CultFit HQ…
1. Strategically plan a route for you and the kids tonight.
2. For at least once in your life think about someone else other than your ELITE self and working out today…
3. Costume up and hit the neighborhood with conviction and purpose!
4. Have fun and be safe!!!
Notes: Our progress today is measured in pounds of candy received (ELITE would be around 10lbs…). As parents our job today is to carry the extra booty for the kids. Be safe, have fun and most importantly, ENJOY!!!
Lastly…If you are one of the paleo d-bags handing out 100 calorie almond snack packs and such tonight? We know where you live!!!
If a feller says, “It’s not the money, it’s the principle of the thing,” it’s the money-
SIN THREE: FAILURE TO ACCEPT PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ELITE ACTIONS
It is not your fault that you are not ELITE. It’s the trainers who are responsible and your parents, your genetics, lack of time, lack of equipment, lack of an inspiring environment, lack of encouragement, too many carbs, lack of financial rewards, the structure of the “box”, lack of entitlements, lack of knowledge about creative programming, lack of any guarantee of success, and, after all, most of you are left-brained within this Random Fitness culture.
You can’t expect Random Fitness individuals to be something they’re not. In our “culture of helplessness,” we have learned that we cannot change our attitude, behavior, or the way we think.
As the seasons ebb and flow so do our workouts. With the temperature dropping outside, running outdoors will soon come to a slow end. No treadmills around these parts people! Hill sprints will still be on the menu as well as hikes and the occasional trial run if the weather permits. Snow shoeing plays a pivotal role in our training over the winter as well as cross-country skiing, so stay tuned to see how we work them into the fold. And you wonder why we always beat you over the head about high knees and quick feet?
Farmers Walk Medley…We never feel rushed to put something into a program due to weather or other mitigating circumstances, like neglect. We’ll still do them in the snow (out front in the elements) for all the yoga moms and kids inside playing PlayStation to see.
25m Waiters Walk…Out and back
25m Heart Beat…Out and back
25m Overhead Hold…Out and back. Use your head here people!!! It’s either a plate or one arm holding one KB, not two.
25m Farmers Walk (Heavy)…Out and back
25m Rack Hold(Single Arm)…Out and back
25m Bear Hug Walk…Out and back. Pick up something really heavy and give it a big old Bear Hug!
Notes: Like Uncle Moe always says: “Don’t put it over your head if you are not prepared for the pain of it hitting you in the head.” ENJOY!!!
If you are bored this morning take a moment and a deep breath to fire up the Google machine and search: Meditation WOD…there is no end to the madness.
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use-
SIN TWO: WE FAIL TO LOOK AT THINGS WITH A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE
One of the many ways in which Random Fitness peeps attempt to make thinking easier on themselves is to solve the first impression of the problem that they may encounter. This enables them to approach the problem with predetermined concepts and they end up seeing what they expect to see based on their past experiences. Once the Random Fitness ducha accepts the initial perspective, they close off all other lines of thought. Certain aspects of ideas will occur to them, but only those aspects and no others. These peeps believe they are thinking logically when they simplify thinking by avoiding ambiguity. Aristolean logic teaches us it is either A or not-A, listen people: It cannot be both. The sky is either blue or not blue. It cannot be a billion different shades of blue. You are either right or wrong. You cannot be both right and wrong. There are no gray areas or in-between(s) when you are participating in a program that can kill you. X-Fit apes who are taught to follow a certain thinking process such as the kill yourself for time method must never entertain different ways of looking at the problem or different ways of thinking about it. Keep doing what you are doing people. The more times you think the same way, the better you become at producing orderly and predictable ideas.
Rest Day…Yup a rest day! As a side note dear readers, the esteemed Soothsayer Department here at CultFit HQ has been busy of late. You may or may not have noticed some of the more recent Cert Additions to the X-Fit pyramid scheme. Let’s take striking as an example, shale we? For $595 of your hard-earned money and your kids tuition…You get this:
There are a variety of ways to dissect this video: smart ass, social elitist, frugal money man…Or how about: Getting your ass kicked at Trader Joe’s squabbling over the price of mango’s? Chaz the store clerk is going to take you, your Striking Cert and your neck scarf to town, ENJOY!!!
A man trusts his ears less than his eyes-
Better take a minute right now to tighten up the chin strap Random Fitness peeps, there is a lot of potential today for ugliness and debauchery.
We have been kicking around a few book ideas of late for no reason what so ever. Don’t know why we decided to share the idea with you…Back to our topic from the other day: “The Seven Deadly Sins that Prevent You From Being Truly ELITE“. Coming to the realization that Seven Sins may be too much for the Random Fitness los monos to understand. We have narrowed it down to just three now, save the thanks for after the third sin.
SIN ONE: YOU DO NOT THINK/FEEL YOU ARE ELITE
The common X-Fit basement dweller does not believe they are truly ELITE. Ultimately they have been taught that they are the product of inferior programming, poor diet, physical limitations, personal history and the lack of a brain. The result is that they have been conditioned to have a fixed mindset about being ELITE and believe only a select few fire-breathers are born with an ELITE gene and the rest of us simply suck. Because we believe we are not ELITE, we spend our lives gazing only those things in our Random Fitness experiences that confirm this belief. We spend our lives knowing and living within the limitations we believe we have.
This is something that we here at CultFit HQ take personally and lament about often: Don’t kill or hurt yourself working on a trivial movement. Example: Kipping anything, Muscle Ups, Pistols so on and so forth. Twenty minutes working on any of those movements is time you won’t get back. If we all took a moment to step back and analyze the situation with some perspective and reason, we would be much better off in our training and healthier to boot.
5k Train Run with conviction and passion. Under 20:30 is our target but not the end of the world! If you use technology during your runs (watch, iPod blah blah) to keep track of pace and split times, leave it at the start of your run today. Preferably somewhere safe so it won’t get stolen. Listen to your body and the leaves under your feet. Run silently and smoothly!
Notes: Running in freshly fallen fall foliage is one of the best running tools available to you, take a moment to think why that is true? Silent (lifting knees, soft quick feet). Smooth (looking down the path before you charting your course). And of course unburdened by technology you will finally be able to Sense what is around you, ENJOY!!!
Be careful about reading health books. You might die of a misprint-
Yet another sign of the upcoming apocalypse is one the mindless books soon to be published about you guessed it, X-Fit and Random Fitness apes! Nothing reeks of narcissism more than an over qualified Random Fitness princesa talking about how spoiled and privileged she has been throughout life.
You guys may remember that ELITE to us here at CultFit HQ is simply not participating at a high level but rather winning. Hardware and numbers peeps…It surprises us a bit that this has not been done sooner, oh well. All joking aside about Cults and other traits shared with X-Fit, In our eyes this is a cry for help from a lost soul. The Clinical Psychology Department here at CultFit HQ is very keen to speak with the author of this book.
Which brings us to the working title of our next book…”The Seven Deadly Sins that Prevent You From Being Truly ELITE”…Don’t go try borrowing this peeps it has been copyrighted! Just an idea…We are in the process of writing a review for this book which has yet to be published. What can we say? It’s in fashion at the moment and who really cares anyways…
Do you feel like this (CLICK IMAGE) after you sign up at a “box”?
If so, don’t fret or bathe yourself in pity and doubt. Just remember…
In the past we have done today’s program as a “Four Corners Farmers Walk”…pay attention to the minor changes and feel free to improve and change them if need be.
Bike/Swim/Hike/Run…Work up a nice lather before you start the program.
Random Four Corners…Football field, a track, tennis court or around the block. We choose to do this on a football field this morning.
First Lap: High Knee Kicks and 10 Perfect Push Ups (at each corner)
Second Lap: Butt Kicks and 10 Close Hands Perfect Push Ups (at each corner)
Third Lap: Lunges and 10 Wide Hands Perfect Push Ups (at each corner)
Fourth Lap (if you want to): Sprints and 5 Perfect Push Ups.
Notes: That thing between your ears may come in handy today? ENJOY!!!